Get ready for a lot of challenging questions.....

Hello,

I love reading for a variety of reasons. One of the major ones throughout my life has been the ability of a character in a book to perfectly echo my own heart and feelings and thoughts. A lot of the time, this connections is born from the way characters learn lessons that I am still struggling to accept or learn. And I think we've all been there - we experience things that are so painful, so traumatic that are instinct is to pretend they never happened and never deal with them, or to sink into that sadness and despair. We never consider the fact that there is something worth learning, worth remembering those dark periods for. And I completely understand. It can be hard to remember. But I think it might just be necessary. Without remembering, we would never be able to see our progress. We would never be able to learn. We would never be able to grow or recognize that we've grown because we would remember where we started from.

In this particular book that I was reading today, I was reminded of the harsh reality that sometimes God calls us to do difficult things. Really difficult things. Like heart-wrecking, soul-flaying things. Things that go against our instincts and that ignore our feelings. And in those moments, it is so easy to say no, to ignore the direction and to do what seems best to us. But I'm just going to throw out an honest question here... how many times has that helped? How many times have we done something or said something that we thought was good and wise (probably because it made us feel comfortable and was covenient and familiar) and ended up suffering for it and hurting people so badly, either physically or emotionally? What God calls us to do may not have the prettiest reactions and consequences at the minute. It may not even feel good. But at least we can trust that He is thinking long term and we will be okay and will heal. Can we trust ourselves in that way? Can we honestly say that when we make choices, we make them with an understanding of their future impact pn our lives? I definitely can't say that for myself.

I don't mean to batter or to preach at you. But I think that so many times, people write off God because it seems dumb to trust in something that we cannot predict. Here's my counter: We cannot predict what God will tell us to do, but we can predict the outcome - GOOD. With ourselves, we can try and try and try with the very best of intentions and come up short at every turn because (1) there is just so much we cannot account for or plan for and (2) at the end of the day, we seek self preservation and that does not always equate to wise life decisions. We would much rather experience short term pleasure than experience a moment of discomfort that is best for us in the long run and so if left to ourselves, we would never really do anything that pushes us out of that comfortable bubble. We are selfish and self-centered. At our very core, we are. But that doesn't have to be the end of the story. I recently listened to a podcast that reiterated the fact that you truly need to have something worth dying for to have something worth living for. I am not enough for myself, because once I start to experience any identity issues, the worth of my life diminishes in my eyes as well. Living for ourselves isn't really any way to live.

All this to say, I am learning that difficult does not always mean wrong and easy does not always mean good. Life without God can be super pleasing in the moment, but as someone who has lived on both sides of the fence, I believe that life with Him is a lot more joyful. I am willing to endure those difficult situations to enjoy a deeper relationship. You?

God bless.

Dera