Are you a perfectionist?

To all the perfectionists out there,

I woke up on Monday less tired than normal. I go on walks with my mum every now and then and we have to wake up super early so that my mum's ready for work on time. We started walking and all of sudden I started feeling tired. My mum walks pretty fast (even though she'd disagree) and at first I thought it was just that. But the tiredness was deeper than that. I'm not being dramatic. I felt drained from the inside out. I felt tired of trying to catch up to my mum and tired of trying to be better behaviour-wise, cooking-wise and failing. And so my body responded in the only way it knew how; I cried.

Before Monday, I would never have called myself a perfectionist. But after a conversation with my mum and some careful, but painful reflection, I realised I was beating myself down for my mistakes and my slip-ups which are completely natural. I also realised that it didn't start on Monday.

What I'm trying to say is I've come to the realisation that part of the reason why I might be judging others a lot or not loving them like I should is because I'm not loving myself the way I should and I'm constantly judging myself. How can I expect myself to give others grace when I don't give it to myself? Long story short, I'm being more intentional about loving myself and forgiving myself for my mistakes. I will continue to do my part in being better, but I will not crucify myself when I make mistakes. I will embrace them, learn from them and move on. I know it won't be easy to break such an unconscious habit, but it's necessary to try.

A perfectionist lifestyle is not sustainable. Take a moment to think about how much you've learnt from your mistakes. If you only ever hated yourself for making them in the first place, you'd never learn.

Your mistakes don't define you unless you let them. You're not a bad person for making mistakes. You're human. Learn and move forward. Keep moving forward.

I hope this helps.

God bless.

Dera

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