Dera's Diary

Hello world, I almost forgot to post today... thank God for alarms! Tonight my mum told me,'nobody likes the process of becoming, but they all want to become'. I'm sure we can all relate to this on some level; knowing what we want, but then giving up or backing out when the actual process starts either because it's too hard or because we don't think we can make it (also because we think it's too hard for us). Not everything is meant for you, but if you don't try your best to find out, you will forever regret it. Instead of knowing you tried your best, you'll be stuck with 'what ifs'. Your situation may be a lot more complicated than mine, but for those dreams and passions you have, try. It may not work out, but knowing you tried gives you peace where giving up gives you regrets. Also, trying and failing shows you what doesn't work which makes you more informed when you try again. It's not easy... I'm learning that. But it's up...

Hey everyone, This week seems to have flown by. I cannot honestly say I remember everything that I did, but I feel good ending the week; accomplished, satisfied. Earlier this week, Martin Luther King was celebrated. I was very intentional about not posting about it. Last year, I was one of those people who thought that if you didn't post it, you couldn't be thinking it. I thought that if you did not post about something important that was happening, then you couldn't possibly care. After realising my bias and coming to terms with the fact that posting does not mean you care, I decided not to post. On Monday, lots of people were posting quotes and lots of people were talking about how you shouldn't just post a quote and then forget about the dream. I completely get that. It's like, for me, I thought that if you posted, it showed you cared. And it can still mean that. But some of us, just post and then never do anything about it. We post about all this stuff happ...

Hello world, How's your week been? I had a pretty good week. It feels like it passed by in a blur really. There's been tons of work to do but I've found myself being pretty calm about it all... finally learning :) I also think I'm in a better place mentally than I was last week. Tough times are hard, but the lessons born out of them tend to be the mot valuable; a reminder for anyone in a tough spot now. Last night, I downloaded a book app on my phone for the first time in a couple of years. I had a bad relationship with the last book app I used and generally strayed away from such apps for a while. I still read books physically and online, but I didn't really use book apps anymore. Yesterday, I was kinda bored. Specifically, I was the type of bored that has you itching for a good read... so I downloaded this book app that I had used online last year. I'm pretty excited to delve back into reading novels. It's something I really love to do but haven't ...

This week has been interesting. First week back at school and I’m actually not as swamped as normal. For that I’m grateful. I was working full time during the week to make sure I wouldn’t have anything to do this weekend. I mean, there’s always work to do but I’ve decided to be free and to rest. I started doing this medicine work experience thing. It’s online but the first session I’ve had brought me so much joy. Apart from learning stuff about the emergency room, just listening to the doctors and seeing how tired they were satisfied me. That might sound sadistic. But something about seeing that tiredness and that knowledge and yet, that humanity right in front of me really really excited me. I really think this is what I want to do. Being exhausted doing something you love is worth it the way I see it. That aside, I was doing some deep thinking recently and just wanted to say that if a relationship makes you feel horrible about yourself or undeserving, quit it. If the person or p...