What a week!


Hey,

I struggled a lot this week. It was one of those situations where everything I had been feeling recently compounded and crashed on me at the same time. Add that to some not-so-great academic situations and my feeling of having more work than I was capable of doing and I was an overheating computer; slow and stuck. I remember feeling so drained by Tuesday, feeling like the whole week had already passed by. I can give no easy advice if you feel like this too. But I can tell you what worked for me; talking to people, writing down all the work and allocating time to each task (chances are it's not as much as it feels), crying (Can't emphasise this enough. You don't have to cry, but if you feel like it, do it!), and trusting God. As I move further in life, only more work is going to attach itself to me. But I guess I determine whether it greets me or attacks me. Some days will be tougher than others, but God is real and He's working. Basking in that knowledge is the first step. The second step is realising that a lot of things are in the mind. There will come a time, if not many times, where you will have to fight your mind for peace. Your mind is not wise, no shade intended. It looks at what seems to be and creates emotions based on that. Having said that, your emotions are not wise either. I'm not trying to say that you should ignore your gut or dismiss your emotions, but it's worth understanding that in the same way that they can be so useful, they can be really deceitful. I felt so overhwelmed by work, but when I finally put everything down, I realised that rest was within my reach. I felt like I was failing at everything cause I wasn't seeing what I wanted to. That can be really discouraging. But it also blinded me from celebrating so many amazing things that happened this week. All in all, your emotions and your gut are amazing features that probably contribute to who you are, but they don't tell you who you are. You might feel like a failure, but newsflash! Failing does not make you a failure. You might be tired, you really might be, but that does not mean you don't have what you need to do what you have to. I don't know if you can relate to what I'm saying. But this week, and this year really, I started with fear. And that fear followed me everywhere. I'd like to believe I confronted and faced that fear this week. But if I have to confront it again, I'm ready. I'm not going to let my emotions blind me from seeing what's available and within reach. It may be hard, but we can do hard things.

I had a good conversation this week about Black history month. It's made me think of how easy it is to shy away from uncomfortable conversations. Unfortunately, they tend to be the most important ones. The ones that build bridges and relationships, the ones that save generations and create families were there were enemies. And besides, new things will always be uncomfortable until you break them in. Get used to having those necessary uncomfortable conversations. Welcome diverse ideas and get to hear all the sides of the story. Educate yourself and don't assume your knowledge is perfect. Not only will this enable you to really find out what your opinions and beliefs are, but it will also give you a larger perspective. Instead of only looking at things through the lenses of your own experience, you can make a more inclusive decision and even when you stand by your beliefs, you can be more considerate in how you share them.

Hope you guys have had a good week. Have a great Valentine's Day tomorrow, whether or not you're with someone and remember that you are loved :)

God bless.

Dera

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