Remember who you are
Hello world,
So, I’ve been doing a lot of college research lately. This is application year and all the shows and YouTube videos and experiences I've heard of have opened my eyes to the enormity and potential difficulty and stress of this season. I want to go to university and so going to the right one is incredibly important to me. Fortunately for me, the 'right' school is no longer synonymous with ‘it must be in the top 25 in the country’. I completely understand why going to a top school is important for a lot of people; maybe it's the prestige, or the guarantee of good education. The reasons can vary, but I do understand. However, I'm grateful that I don't see it like that anymore because in this process you have to strike a balance between being realistic and being hopeful. I want to apply to some prestigious schools.... but I want to make sure I'm applying there for the right reasons which to me would be ideal location, or great majors, social life, academic support, student reviews, and research/internship opportuinities. Prestige is great (I don't want to have to explain which school I came from), but it's just not enough for me anymore. I want to enjoy college while getting an amazing education and not all the top schools can guarantee me that, and they probably can't all guarantee that for you either. It starts with identifying what you want and then finding the schools that give you that. ( A lot harder to do!)
In the same vein (because I just can't help but draw comparisons), I think we tend to see friendships in the same way we see colleges. Some people are the Ivy League / Russel Group; the must-haves. Maybe not everyone can relate to that, but I know I can. For whatever reason, there is probably someone or some people you just really want to be friends with. Maybe their friends have told you they are good friends. Or you think you like them from afar. Or they're just really charismatic. There's no shame here.... just being honest ;). So you pursue those friendships and sometimes it goes right. But I think the success rate for this, just like universities might have a lot to do with your intentions for pursuing. If you're only going for that school or friendship because it 'seems' attractive and is a 'hot commodity', you will most likely be disappointed with what you actually find. If you aren't that's great. But do you want to risk money on a school you have not holistically considered? Or expectations, time and energy on a person you haven't actually gotten to know? Risks are a part of life, but those who get ahead are those that identify the risks worth taking and those risks are completely unique to each person.
Having said all this, you can go in with the best of intentions and the best research and still be surprised or disappointed. Your dream school may not accept you or that friend may really disappoint you. In those times, the greatest gift is learning to separate external rejection from your identity. Not getting the role or spot does not change your identity. Being betrayed or disappointed by a friend does not change your identity. The truth does not change just when external circumstances do, and God's purpose for you will not change even when your situation does. My best advice to anyone navigating applications and friendships (myself included) is to make sure you are not tying your identity to these things. They don't define you, so don't identify yourself too strongly with them. Remember who you are as a unit so that you don't lose yourself in the titles, schools, relationships and positions.
God bless.
Dera
So, I’ve been doing a lot of college research lately. This is application year and all the shows and YouTube videos and experiences I've heard of have opened my eyes to the enormity and potential difficulty and stress of this season. I want to go to university and so going to the right one is incredibly important to me. Fortunately for me, the 'right' school is no longer synonymous with ‘it must be in the top 25 in the country’. I completely understand why going to a top school is important for a lot of people; maybe it's the prestige, or the guarantee of good education. The reasons can vary, but I do understand. However, I'm grateful that I don't see it like that anymore because in this process you have to strike a balance between being realistic and being hopeful. I want to apply to some prestigious schools.... but I want to make sure I'm applying there for the right reasons which to me would be ideal location, or great majors, social life, academic support, student reviews, and research/internship opportuinities. Prestige is great (I don't want to have to explain which school I came from), but it's just not enough for me anymore. I want to enjoy college while getting an amazing education and not all the top schools can guarantee me that, and they probably can't all guarantee that for you either. It starts with identifying what you want and then finding the schools that give you that. ( A lot harder to do!)
In the same vein (because I just can't help but draw comparisons), I think we tend to see friendships in the same way we see colleges. Some people are the Ivy League / Russel Group; the must-haves. Maybe not everyone can relate to that, but I know I can. For whatever reason, there is probably someone or some people you just really want to be friends with. Maybe their friends have told you they are good friends. Or you think you like them from afar. Or they're just really charismatic. There's no shame here.... just being honest ;). So you pursue those friendships and sometimes it goes right. But I think the success rate for this, just like universities might have a lot to do with your intentions for pursuing. If you're only going for that school or friendship because it 'seems' attractive and is a 'hot commodity', you will most likely be disappointed with what you actually find. If you aren't that's great. But do you want to risk money on a school you have not holistically considered? Or expectations, time and energy on a person you haven't actually gotten to know? Risks are a part of life, but those who get ahead are those that identify the risks worth taking and those risks are completely unique to each person.
Having said all this, you can go in with the best of intentions and the best research and still be surprised or disappointed. Your dream school may not accept you or that friend may really disappoint you. In those times, the greatest gift is learning to separate external rejection from your identity. Not getting the role or spot does not change your identity. Being betrayed or disappointed by a friend does not change your identity. The truth does not change just when external circumstances do, and God's purpose for you will not change even when your situation does. My best advice to anyone navigating applications and friendships (myself included) is to make sure you are not tying your identity to these things. They don't define you, so don't identify yourself too strongly with them. Remember who you are as a unit so that you don't lose yourself in the titles, schools, relationships and positions.
God bless.
Dera
👏🏽👏🏽
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