To categorize or not to categorize?


Happy Friday,

Recently, I heard someone propose that we destroy categories like countries that people identify so strongly with and that strongly divide us as a species. And to a certain extent, I understand. We are a more globalised world than our ancestors could ever have dreamt of. But at the same time, we are such separate people. We argue all the time when we have differences of opinion. And even when we belong to the same group (whatever group that may be) we find a way to further divide and separate ourselves. So I do understand why people would want to get rid of countries. I understand why you would want to get rid of categories and divisions. I really do. But the more dominant side of me can’t help but disagree. A huge part of the reason why we argue so much with each other is because we’re different and we have different experiences. We didn’t grow up the same way or live through the same situations and so we have different perspectives. When we are unwilling to recognise this fact, we get knee deep into passionate and oftentimes aggressive conversations about who is right and wrong. Maybe sometimes, things are that clear. But most of the time, you can’t just determine the black and white of a situation. In times like that, being surrounded by people who understand and relate can make a huge difference. I’m not saying that we can’t understand each other even if we have different backgrounds (if we did, we would save ourselves countless dramatic interactions), but we generally don’t. And even when we do, there is something special about being around people who can really understand you. I’m not best friends with everyone from my country. I’m not best friends with everyone who shares my faith or goes to my school or is pursuing the same career path as me. I’m not a fan of every female and I’m not a fan of every 17 year old. But when I am able to relate with people on theses fundamental, basic categories, it is truly one of the best feelings ever; talking to someone and knowing that they really do understand. Not just because they’re working overtime to picture the situation, but because they’ve lived it, seen it or experienced it themselves.

So even though I am all in favour of intentional listening and going the extra mile to understand people, I don’t think we should be so quick to dismantle and destroy the communities that may have been people’s lifelines in their darkest moments. These communities don’t necessarily have to consist of people from the same country or background, but I think as people, we inevitably form these communities or ‘categories’ to give ourselves a vital sense of belonging when we feel out of place. We weren’t meant to do life alone and being able to find those people who really do understand you can transform the way you are able to view your circumstances and can enable you to give yourself grace when you go through hard times.

These are just my thoughts. Let me know if you think differently.

God bless.

Dera

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Was MJ right?

Hello, Recently, I feel like my family has been going through a lot of hard stuff. Some things are inconveniences and some other things are life changing, but I think the real challenge is the way each challenge seems to come simultaneously. That has be really hard. I know that we are definitely not alone in this and that there are so many of us out here who legitimately feel like we just can't catch a break; one thing after another attacks which leads to this overriding feeling of fear, anxiety and hopelessness. I was listening to a song today and was reminded that even though gratitude does not change our situation, it changes us. When we are not getting those things that we really want at the moment or we face really difficult situations, it's very easy to enter that place of feeling like you have nothing to be grateful for, or feeling like you need to be prepared for the worst in any situation, or that you cannot rest until you map out everything that could possibly go
Read more

Nigeria, America and the UK

Random, random, random.... I was watching a movie the other day and it's a baseball movie, so the coach goes up to the team and proceeds to give them a pep talk. "Y'all have worked so hard...", "get out there and do your best..." - you guys know the drill. And then the team proceeds to play and win or lose, they're still a team. It got me thinking about my experience growing up and playing soccer in Nigeria and then playing it again in the UK (if you keep in mind that in both of these other places, they call it football and that totally makes sense). In the UK, it was kind of similar to America. Before the game, coach would tell us which positions everyone would be playing with his little whiteboard and marker and then we'd get a little pep talk with some tips and would be out on the pitch for the game. This team was a bit different though. About a month into my playing with the club, I started noticing some tension between some of the girls on
Read more

Are you a perfectionist?

To all the perfectionists out there, I woke up on Monday less tired than normal. I go on walks with my mum every now and then and we have to wake up super early so that my mum's ready for work on time. We started walking and all of sudden I started feeling tired. My mum walks pretty fast (even though she'd disagree) and at first I thought it was just that. But the tiredness was deeper than that. I'm not being dramatic. I felt drained from the inside out. I felt tired of trying to catch up to my mum and tired of trying to be better behaviour-wise, cooking-wise and failing. And so my body responded in the only way it knew how; I cried. Before Monday, I would never have called myself a perfectionist. But after a conversation with my mum and some careful, but painful reflection, I realised I was beating myself down for my mistakes and my slip-ups which are completely natural. I also realised that it didn't start on Monday. What I'm trying to say is I've come t
Read more