Cause it's the last day of April


Hey there world,

Feels like it’s been forever since I last wrote anything and I guess it really has been.

Freshman year is coming to an end, and while I haven’t fully processed it or even really come to terms with it, I’ve been reflecting a bit.

I have friends that are graduating and friends that I won’t be living in the same building with next semester, and I think what I find the most dumbfounding (because I haven’t really processed what life will be like without them next semester) is that I was ever in the opportunity to become friends with them.

You know how sometimes, you hope for things or pray to God for things, and you obviously want them. But with time, or even maybe at the very beginning, you feel like the chances of those things happening is so slim. But you keep hoping and you keep praying?

I’ve had a few of these scenarios in my life now. Definitely enough to know that God can be trusted. I have memories of times when I’ve genuinely seen no way out, no good way and God has come through with those prayers I couldn’t even vocalise because they seemed too unlikely. When I came into college, I had been praying for a Christian community for months. But I didn’t in any way expect that to happen early on. And if I hadn’t found Salt (the college ministry I’m a part of), if I hadn’t gotten that text from one of the leaders before I even got to campus, if I hadn’t had the courage to go for that first meeting, I don’t know where I’d be now. Maybe I’d have found salt eventually. Maybe I’d have eventually found the courage to go checking out churches or check out Christian organisations on campus. But it would’ve been a battle. And I think it’s so interesting. There are some things like this that would’ve been so hard for me that God made so much easier. And there are other things that are hard that God will let me fully experience. I don’t know. But I’m grateful. I’ve still had to show up to the meetings and talk to people and agree to meet up outside of salt. And that has been stretching and growing in and of itself. But as I say goodbye to friends now and prepare for the reality of not living so near to people anymore, as I prepare to write finals for classes that consumed my life this semester, as I prepare for a summer filled with research that a couple months ago I felt so incapable of doing well, I can’t help but thank God. For how far I’ve come. For how much I’ve grown. For the testimonies I have and the ones that are still in process. For the friends that have become family. For deeper and fuller faith.

It’s crazy how fast it goes by. College. They tell you, but you never really know until you experience it yourself. I’m excited for what’s ahead. Nervous, but excited. And I feel just a bit more willing to step out of my comfortable perch on the oustkirts and get to know myself without all the insecurity.

Dera

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