Say it and let it go

Happy Saturday!

I listened to a sermon this week that was really revolutionary for me. It was talking about how as young people, but as people in general, we carry so much of our weight and sin around with us. First we fall in love with them, and later, the shame of having them in our life allows them to retain their power over us. The stress of having to hide them from everyone else and pretend that they do not have any impact on us, is exactly what keeps them so influencial. I know the freedom to be found in God when I die to my sin and have heard a lot about it since I grew up in church. But there are still certain habits and things I had done that continued to fill me with so much shame despite knowing that they didn't have any more power over me... certain things that felt impossible to die to and leave behind. It's weird... you can know something for sure, and yet feel so different and far away from it. Faith steps in to bridge the gap. With sin... with habits and actions and thoughts that we are ashamed of... so much of the power comes in trying to pretend you don't struggle with them. The best thing we can do for each other, is be safe spaces where people can share their deepest, darkest thoughts. Because so much freedom is available when you finally talk to someone about that thing you did or that thing that happened to you that you thought you could never share. But people will never share if they feel like they will be judged. So the sermon had two charges; be a haven for someone's dark past, but also step out in faith yourself and remove the power that your past has by confessing it and moving on.

I think a huge part of the reason why the secrecy holds so much power is because we get so scared over how people's perception of us will change when we tell them these things that happened in our past. And I can't lie... it's scary. So scary. But I for one am tired of trying to pretend I'm this perfect person. Nothing important, and Noone important requires perfection from me. Some things will be too much for people and that can be hard to face. But is it really worth it to have to spend your life pretending to be someone you're not because you don't want people's opinion's to change? They are going to change anyway... whether they change because of the truth or a lie is the only part you can control.

I'm not trying to say that you have to go sharing the deepest, darkest parts of yourself with everyone and anyone. But say it. Even if it's just to yourself. Even if it is just to one person. Speak that thing that has so much power because you have been unable to speak it. That secret you have kept that is in your past but still feels like such a vivid part of your present. Say it and let it go.

God bless.

Dera