From: An introvert


From: An introvert

To: Everyone and noone


I don't try to come off as intimidating

And I'm sorry if I do

The truth is my experiences have taught me that it's better to observe before I move

It would be easy to spill my heart and tell all the people I like my stories

But how can I trust that what I say stays here, if I've heard other 'confidential' details from their lips?

I don't think it's fair to wait for them to make all the moves

I know it's my job to ask how they're feeling too

I know they're allowed to have friends that don't vibe with me

I know they're allowed to have experiences that they do not want to share with me

I know that some friends stick and some others are there for a season

I know that sometimes you need to fight to protect the friendships you've chosen

I know that the number of friends I have is not synonymous with my worth

I know that the feeling of being uninvited won't always sting as much

I know that God provides and that they are so many people I probably haven't considered befriending

I know that when I keep to myself, it looks like I don't need companions


But all this knowledge doesn't change the fact

That I would like to have someone that would listen to me rant

I'm human as well and would like someone to chat with

Someone who helps hold me up but can also nudge me to the side and tell me to get over it

Someone I can laugh with and feel just as comfortably crying with

Someone that I would willingly have all the awkward confrontations to keep

Someone who would stay up gisting about nothing without needing to check their phone

Someone who cares enough to reschedule if they know they won't fully be present

Someone who I can confide in without having to worry about privacy

Someone who venting to doesn't seem like gossiping

Someone who promises and actually delivers

Someone who, just like me, is working on being a better person


People are imperfect and to expect perfection is to expect disappointment

But I've seen pieces and glimpses that have shown me that it's not impossible

I think I know what I want and what I'm looking for

But the temptation to settle, to not be alone, is a struggle


I don't like to impose myself on people and so I'm not a fan of imposing people

I try to keep away from the crowd because the noise gives me irritation

So I won't necessarily be the one jumping in front of your face

I don't always say what I feel because I try to mean what I say

To all the introverts out there, I understand your pain

There so much I wish I could just do and yet I find myself more comfortable writing away

I don't believe we're stuck in one personality and I won't use 'introvert' as an excuse

But maybe it might help those on the other side understand that being quiet does not mean that we're aloof

I see and I feel and I make decisions based on those observations

To be fair, sometimes I cut things off without leaving any explanations

I'm working on that, I'm still working on me

But to all those who could never relate, I hope you could be a bit more patient with we.


God bless.

Dera

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