What if we do it to ourselves?


We can blame society for a lot of things. But at some point, it boils down to us: you and me. I've been having a lot of deep conversations recently that have been making me rethink my opinions and my stance on my relationships and the ongoing battles between men and women all over the world and of all different ages. These are some of the things I'm beginning to understand:

- Men and women are different. We're both human and deserve to be treated at such, but our brains work differently and our strengths lie in different things. I think as women, we want men to understand us. And that isn't a bad thing. But it becomes problematic when we think that the only way to make them understand us to make them think like us. Instead of trying to communicate our expectations, we try to force men to become something they really aren't. We try to make them become more like us and when they do, we reject them.

- We might have an inferiority complex.... Gender roles, no matter how arbitrary and unnecessary they might seem right now, were assigned for a reason. And maybe, they started becoming so problematic when we started viewing some roles as superior and inferior to others. There are so many women I know these days who would much rather do something just to prove that they can do it than do something that they actually enjoy. We throw ourselves into all these roles and all these positions, to make a point. And though the point might be made, that constant need to measure up and prove ourselves doesn't go away. I'm not saying we shouldn't chase our dreams or pursue our interests. But I think we need to start doing them for the right reasons, not just to prove to men that we can do everything they can do. Because I don't think we can. And we don't need to. We need to start valuing what we bring to the table enough that we don't feel the need to push men down to find our way up.

I'm still learning and growing. But I don't think the same way anymore. Let me know what you think.

God bless.

Dera

Comments

  1. Neto KaluFebruary 12, 2022 at 10:26 AM

    Great work!! I agree we need to let everyone (man to woman, woman to woman, man to man) to be themselves. Some things I do will never be cultivated by others and that’s ok cause we’re all different. It’s true that we need to start doing things for the right reasons rather than to prove that we can. The truth is the World was built to favour men and there are some woman that if they stop doing because it’s just to show that they can, they will be at a disadvantage. The world is hard 😩 but we move and we get better!

    I’m glad your learning and growing!! I’m also loving your friends ooh; they seem wise 😂💞

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