Reach out

I had a really good chat with some old friends today. I remember when someone first brought up the possibility of a call and being nervous about it. This was for many reasons, but above all others, after not speaking to people for a while, I think there’s always that fear that the way you used to be able to talk to each other because you were always around each other won’t be there once you’ve had some distance. But that wasn’t the case. After a lot of postponing the call due to conflicting schedules, we finally did it today and I am so glad. There really is something special about talking to people who walked with you during formative and important stages of your life and it’s so special to be able to maintain those relationships in new seasons. They won’t always last, and I’m by no means saying that you should hang on to relationships that aren’t sustainable, but I think some of the best things happen when we step out of our comfort zones. I went to the pub with some friends totally last minute a couple of weeks ago and I was so nervous about it and thinking of ways to back out once I had agreed but it ended up being one of the best nights out I had had in a good while. And today, although I was really nervous, it was great to catch up and I never would have experienced that joy if I didn’t show up for the call.

So this is my reminder to some introvert out there or someone who’s backed away from worthwhile relationships because of distance - reach out. Say hello. Make the effort. You will never know which friendships are worth making the time for, if you don’t initially make time and see how things go. You will never experience that joy of talking to people who really know you and who have been there for you if you walk away once something like distance makes things more difficult. Life is not easy, but to truly live, we need to prioritise being successful at the things that matter, and those aren't always the easy, convenient things. They actually hardly ever are.

At different periods in our lives, our need and ability to maintain friendships will change. Sometimes, we actually are just that busy. Sometimes, the people we used to lean on are just not able to be sensitive to what we are experiencing. Sometimes, we do just need some space to figure some things out on our own. And I think it’s important that people respect that. But don’t shut down and don’t shut everyone out. We weren’t meant to do life alone. And so you don’t need to have tons of friends and I don’t even think you need to talk all the time, but make it a priority to stay in touch with a group that can support you when you need them, that can respect your need for space when you need it and who can call you out and challenge you when no one else will.

God bless

Dera