Orientation and First Week of Classes

Hello guys,

It's been a little while since I've posted on here. The last two weeks have seen me through moving across the ocean to Uni, having a week of international and general orientation and then having my first week of classes. It was a lot, but not necessarily in the ways I expected.

Stepping onto campus for the first time, I wasn't as uncomfortable as I expected. My navigation skills are really not up to snuff and on such a big campus, that could easily have been a place of anxiety and worry for me. I thought they would be. Instead, it was exciting. I used google maps to find my way, admiring the picturesque area and not truly taking any time to sleep off the 23 hours worth of travelling. International Student Orientation started and I had to make my way with getting to know a new group of people. I actually saw a lot of personal improvement here in the sense that I was quite comfortable being and walking and eating on my own, but I also wanted to meet people and was courageous enough to do so. Now there's a caveat to this and I also struggled with an unexpected bout of loneliness / slash homesickness, but I'll get to that in a bit.

Anyway, my roommate arrives and then domestic students start to arrive and it's like the campus triples over night. Somehow though, it still feels pretty normal and exciting and I was weirdly excited to start classes soon. Part of that was wanting to learn more and get to know my professors and understand what uni work was like. But most of it was wanting to know what my workload was like and how much free time I'd have so that I could form a routine. On the last few days of orientation, there were parties basically every night which served as pretty good avenues to meet people. But part of me was also cognizant of the fact that I might never see most of them again. My roommate and I would talk about how the friends you make during classes are more likely to become your actual friends, and in hindsight, I can still understand why we thought that, I just also can't help but hope it's not completely true.

When my first day of school arrives, I had managed to get 10 hours of sleep the night before, covering up for the jetlag as well as the lack of sufficient sleep during the previous week of orientation. The classes were good and I started making first impressions of and on students and teachers and subjects. I was haphazardly making notes of the work I had to do; 1/3 using the notes on my phone, 1/3 using notion (is it only me or is notion incredibly difficult to use?) and 1/3 hoping that I would remember the rest. This crazy balance was working pretty well until Tuesday night (I know... not a very long time). It was 9pm, and I think I had my sights set on going to bed relatively early. I was looking through Blackboard (like Google Classroom if you're familiar with that, except without the useful notifications) and I saw that my one of my professors had told us to read a chapter before the next class. I'm freaking out, trying to confirm if it's true and stressing about what would've happened if I didn't see it. I immediately find the textbook and realise that the chapter is 16 pages of tiny print. The night went on pretty slowly after that. I managed to get into bed at around 12am, grateful that I'd thought to check Blackboard, terrified about what else I could've been forgetting and certain that something had to change. This general feeling of being behind and disorganized hit hard the next day. The sad thing was, it wasn't a feeling that was coming on because I felt I should be doing more or others were more ahead. I actually had a lot that I had to do, that I hadn't done. After my classes, I went back to my room which was empty and then had to battle a sudden wave of homesickeness/loneliness. At first, I honestly didn't even know that that was what it was. But after calling my sister 'because she was the only family member I knew could still be awake with the time difference', we concluded that loneliness could indeed be given the credit. It can be really weird that way. I've been a a boarding student for a long time, so I'm used to not being in the same state, country or even continent as my family. But sometimes, that homesickness hits randomly and I definitely try to brush it away, telling myself that if I didn't feel it when it would've made sense, then I shouldn't be feeling it now. My lesson, and something I hope all other boarding students (or people who've lived away from home and family for a while) would know as well, is that it's okay if you miss home. I don't know if there's any age or any experience level you can get to, where being away from the people you know and love never affects you. Also, I was shocked by the loneliness because I did feel perfectly fine being on my own. But I started to realise that I wasn't necessarily making friends in my classes and all the people I was already pretty friendly with didn't have classes on the same side of the campus. My lesson here, and something that all the 'My advice for freshmen' Pinterest posts should have taught me is that it is important to be open, and friendly and to be willing to make the first move to introduce yourself and invite people to things (still working on this last bit), but you may not find your best friends in the first few weeks. And even though it may look like everyone else has, tons of people are in your same boat and it's better to be intentional than careless, willing than regretful.

I'm successfully at the end of both of these weeks and I think they simultaneously lived up to the picture of orientation and the first week of school that I'd been given my Instagram, movies and yes, Pinterest, while also being different and unique. I've seen areas of growth and I've seen areas that I still struggle in. Moving to uni, no matter how far away you're moving, doesn't solve all your problems. And like some say about marriage, it might expose those problems and bring them up front and centre, forcing you to face them and change before it lets you move to the next level. Not fun, but I'm tired of struggling with the same issues that I have been for the last 8 years. Or maybe more simply, I tired of giving in to the same temptations. I know that God is gracious and that's something I will forever be confused by and grateful for. But I know I cannot continue to live the same way and expect different results. This week has reminded me of this key lesson that this year has been chasing down. I'm tired of ignoring it cause it's difficult. And if you have anything in your life that's like that, I encourage you as I encourage me, just like with so many other difficult things that we choose, let choosing God and choosing the truth me a difficult thing we prefer.

God bless

Dera