Dera's Diary

Hey, So recently I've been coming face-to-face with some insecurities I have concerning my next stage of life. I've found myself worrying bout stuff that never used to bother me. I've found myself over-thinking, worrying bout surface stuff and cross-checking my words constantly. Anyway, I felt that I could share some of my current coping mechanisms with anyone else who's finding it hard to adjust to new people, environments, realities and the likes. 1. Test the Spirit. I know this sounds pretty deep. It's from the Bible. 1 Thessalonians 5:20-21. It talks about not scoffing at prophecies but testing them instead to know if they're real. So when you find yourself worrying, test the Spirit or in this case, the motive. Are you worried because this thing might affect you mentally or spiritually? Are you worried because you want to fit in and you think you need to do, say, wear or be this to do that? Are you worried because everyone's doing it and you don...

Dear diary, The Premier League starts today. It might not be popular opinion, but I definitely don't think it's a worthy risk. I'm not a football consumer so maybe I don't really understand and I know these guys need to play to be paid. But call me crazy. I think it's dangerous and avoidable. To less controversial issues..... I celebrated my graduation on Saturday. On this particular day, I was meant to be in my robe and cap taking pictures with my friends for what might be the last time, while trying not to cry. Instead I was at home, eating the best shawarma I've had since forever and watching 'Living in bondage; breaking free' (y'all should watch it. It's really something else). It wasn't where I'd imagined I'd be earlier this year,  but I appreciate my family for making it a special day anyway. Diploma or no diploma, I graduated on June 13th, 2020. I just hope I get to make it official sometime soon. It would be so selfish...

Food for thought. Don't freak out at the title. Hear me out. I've been doing a lot of interesting work on one of my online learning platforms. One of the more recent projects was on manifestos; creating your manifesto for your aims on how to live your BEST life. I'd encourage you all to try it. You don't have to write it down or anything. But spend some time thinking about what you feel is vital to living your best life. And examine your life to look for discrepancies. Self-reflection is incredibly important. I feel creating such a manifesto or even just acknowledging what needs to be done is reflection. But you know, reflection is useless without action. When you figure out what you need to do, DO IT! Don't dally or delay. Just go do it. Life is to short to waste all your time dreaming. Dreaming is important. So many incredible inventions and accomplishments were born out of dreams. These ideas were called dreams simply because they seemed so impossible a...

Dear diary, I have never had to identify as black. I've always lived amongst other black people and so I never needed to consciously identify my race. Chimamanda and I agree on that. Because of the books I read and shows I watch, I've gotten used to seeing white people everywhere and seeing their lifestyle as one to be emulated. That has not necessarily changed. But with this new wave of racism, I've had to check myself too. I haven't been exempted from racism, but I haven't had to live with the constant fear that black people in the West have become used to. And so I've become distant and apathetic. Not because I don't care, but because I haven't been personally affected.  I've been experiencing my own special form privilege and I know there are other people out there like me.  For people like me, we need to do just as much research and studying as any other white person. The reason why racism has gone on for so long is IGNORANCE. On the part ...